He Wants It All Today

I know I've been pretty quiet lately...sorry about that. I've had a lot of things going on though.

I signed with a new publisher and my 2nd edition is scheduled to be available by early February. There will be a couple of big changes to this edition. One of them being a few new chapters from my kidnapper's ex-wife. And another one being the author name. It will not be Jurney Eve! 8-O    

The Victim Service Center is going to be hosting a bike-a-thon based around my story and guess when it's going to be? On April 28, 2012! It's going to be in Orlando, Florida so if you are in the area it would mean so much to me if you would come out that day and support me. You can ride along side me...if you plan on riding slowly...you can walk a shorter route or you can just come out. I'll have more information about that for you soon.

If you've been following my blog for a while you probably know that I usually only write when I feel "moved" to. Whether it's an update on my case, something funny that has happened to me or something that I feel is significant enough to share with you because I think you'll benefit from it...and that is what happened to me today.

This morning I attended Sunday service at New Waters Church in Clermont, Florida and I can honestly say that I have never experienced a church service like this one before. Everyone was so welcoming and friendly. Every song felt like it was directed solely at me. But what made it so unique was the preacher. I've been to many different churches and I've heard many different preachers but there is something different about Pastor Michael Hopewell. He has an honest transparency about him that I have never seen before. When he preaches he shares his life with you and he doesn't hold back. Today's message was about how everything starts in God's hands and we have to give our problems to Him in order for Him to help us. 

I'm sure they haven't seen the last of me at New Waters Church and if you live anywhere near Clermont, Florida or if you're ever visiting the area on a Sunday morning, I highly recommend you stop by. Service starts at 10am. 

You will not be disappointed! 

♥ Diana
(aka Jurney Eve)

I Don't Want To Gain The Whole World And Lose My Soul

I feel that God has been throwing a message at me over the past few months or so. Whether it's through the words of others; the books I've read; lyrics of the songs I've heard; emails or even through Facebook status updates. I feel that God has been trying to remind me that He is not done working in my life. I am not finished growing. My journey is not over. And while I already knew this, I have to admit that I have become a little too comfortable in my relationship with God. A few years ago, when I was writing my book, I was constantly seeking God's healing and guidance. I REALLY needed it because I was in such a bad emotional state.

But I had made such an incredible breakthrough after writing my book. To me, nothing short of a miracle had happened during that time in my life. All of the healing and growing that took place within me was nothing short of a miracle.

A miracle that I was even talking about how I was kidnapped and raped.

A miracle that I had learned how to feel whole again after sixteen years of feeling lost, worthless, broken, unlovable, unfixable, abnormal.

You get the idea.

For the last few years, I have felt so strong in my faith. I was ready to change the world one broken heart at a time. I was running the race I felt God had laid out before me. But I think that I got so caught up in trying to figure out how I could help other people that I stopped trying to figure out how to keep helping myself. And after a while, I started doubting myself. I started feeling discouraged, like I was never going to accomplish all of the things that I wanted to; all of the things that I felt God was calling me to accomplish.

But He has reminded me that I can't take care of others if I don't take care of myself. And so, I need to bring the focus back around to me. Oh, I'm not going to stop reaching out and encouraging others. I'm still going to volunteer at the Victims Service Center, volunteer as a member of RAINN's Speaker Bureau, write my second edition and still raise a little money for the occasional charity on the side, but I will remember to take time to spend with God.

We all lead busy, busy lives but we must remember to take a little time, even if it's only 5 minutes, for ourselves. Pick up your Bible and let it fall open to a random passage; or start at the beginning...I recommend the New Testament...and read a few verses every day. I've started in Ephesians. If we don't take the time to connect with Him and focus on ourselves then we will never be truly happy or be as successful as He meant for us to be.

Faith is not a constant without maintenance and always remember..."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

♥ Jurney Eve

I am on fire!

I have been busy working on the second edition of Intended Harm and I am so close to being finished.

Sure my house is a little dirty. And maybe my lawn could use a little attention. But I haven't felt this inspired in quite some time so I'm going to take advantage of it while I can. Plus, it helps keep my nerves calm because in case you haven't noticed...

There's a hurricane coming! 

It's supposed to pass by me either Thursday or Friday. So if you don't hear from me for a while it means things didn't go well. 

Of course, it could just mean that I'm being lazy and haven't updated my blog because we all know how responsible I am at that. ;)

♥ Jurney Eve

The View From My Pew

Sorry I've been so quiet lately. Things have been a little chaotic here. 

It has been one and a half months since I moved to Florida and it has taken a lot of adjusting...for all of us. One of those adjustments has been finding a new church. 

Finding a new church isn't as easy as going to the church down the street or even finding the closest church that is the same denomination as your old church. When I search for a new church I don't limit my search to a certain denomination. True, I always start with a certain denomination but to choose a church for my family depends on way more than that. 

First, they have to offer a service that is later than 9:30 am. That might sound like a stupid criteria to most but let's face it. I have three children that I have to motivate, feed and help get ready in the morning. Not to mention, I have to get myself ready and for those that don't know me...I am NOT a morning person. So the later the service starts, the better.

Then, they must have a service for my two younger children during the Sunday service. If my kids have to sit with me then I never get to listen to the message and be ministered to. Plus, I think that they learn more when the service is specifically geared towards them. You know, age appropriate?

A mid-week youth group for my kids is a must have as well. Especially one for my oldest child. I think it is extremely important for my high-schooler to meet other Christian kids her age. She's surrounded by a very high percentage of non-Christian teenagers throughout the school year. It's crucial that she has friends that have the same values as her. I know all too well how easy it is to be influenced by the people around you and your surroundings. If I can make my children's lives a little easier for them to make right choices by getting them involved in church youth groups, then I'm going to do it. 

Another criteria in the search for a church is they must have a contemporary praise and worship style. 

Hymns aren't for me. 

Praise and worship is very important to me because I love music. Contemporary Christian music moves me. It inspires me. Plus...it keeps me awake after those busy mornings when I didn't get enough caffeine before the service.

But the most important criteria for finding a new church is...it needs to feel right. When I attend a service at the church I eventually choose, I just know it. You know?

When I moved to CT, I searched for months before I found the right one. During those months I went to many different churches, but none of them felt right. None of them gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. When I finally found my new church in CT, I knew it was the one. 

It's hard to explain.

Which brings me back to my search for a new church in Florida. Since we've been here, we've attended a few different churches. The first one met all of our criteria but one. 

It just didn't feel right. 

It was by far, the largest church we have ever been to. The size was pretty intimidating at first. I thought that maybe it didn't feel right to me because I was uncomfortable with the size. But after giving it an adequate amount of time, I decided that this wasn't the one for us. It seems like a great church. It has so much to offer. There were so many people that you could tell genuinely loved the Lord. The church has a very large youth group. I really wanted to like this one but it just didn't feel right.

There were a few other churches after that, and while they all were wonderful, none of them felt right. Until today...I believe I have found our new church. It meets all of our criteria. 

The service starts at 10:45. (Yay for sleeping in.)

It has a children's service...and my kids loved it.

It has a youth group for my oldest child...although we haven't checked it out yet. Hopefully she'll like it.  

(fingers crossed)

The music program is very contemporary. Probably the most contemporary praise and worship I have ever heard at church. They opened with a Barlow Girl song. Never Alone. It was awesome!

I also discovered that this church has small groups that meet throughout the week. That's not unusual though. Most churches have small groups that meet throughout the week.The groups are based on common interests, such as...a women's Bible study group...a mens' group...a group for 20 somethings...a group for singles...a group for married couples...things like that. I don't usually join any of the small groups because no one ever seems to have a group that fits my life. I could join the women's Bible study group but at my last church it met on Saturdays at, like, 8am or something and we've already established that I'm not a morning person. I could join the married couples group but I'm pretty sure I would need to bring my husband with me and he can't commit to a weekly group. He works way too much...plus, I haven't been able to get him to go to a Sunday service with me since we lived in Vermont and his mommy made him go. So that group is out of the question. 

No one ever has a group for 30- something working mothers who's husbands don't support their desire to go to church more than once a week...and so I've never joined one.

Well, this church doesn't have a group like that either but it has all of those other groups and then some. This church has a group for women who are searching for recovery and healing after sexual abuse. Now I'm sure this isn't the only church in the world that has a group focused on helping people recover from sexual abuse, but it's the first one I've ever seen...and I've researched a lot of different churches in many different states. 

I move a lot.

So, not only does this church feel right, it offers a ministry that is geared specifically toward the very thing that I have dedicated the last four years of my life to...helping people recover after sexual abuse. I will definitely check this group out. Me finding this church seems to have God's hand written all over it. 

I trust God to lead me in the right direction. I won't pretend to have all the answers. I know that I don't. I am still learning, healing and growing myself. I still don't know exactly what God's plan for my life is but I know I'm moving in the right direction. How do I know that? It just feels right.

♥ Jurney Eve

Florida

Today marks the 19th day since I've lived in Florida.

19 days of unpacking and organizing and googling "how to take care of a pool".

Which is more time consuming than I originally imagined. 

19 days of map questing my way around town and registering my children for school. 

And hopefully they have already forgotten about my little outburst at my oldest daughter's school. At the very least, I hope they've forgotten what I look like. I'd hate to have my impatience influence the way my daughter is treated at school. Not one of my proudest moments. Florida's rules of registration are quite different from any other state I've ever lived in. 

19 days of searching for a family doctor, registering our cars and getting my Florida driver's license.

And the question I keep hearing is..."How do you like Florida?"

You would think this would be an easy question to answer. It's pretty cut and dry. Do I like Florida or not. But it's not that simple. For the last 19 days, I've been holed up in my house unpacking and organizing or driving around town trying to figure out where everything essential is. 

We did get to go to Universal Studios for a couple of days and that was fun...inhumanely hot, but fun. 

I have had to adjust a little. Such as...modesty has gone out the window. In Connecticut I would never go out in public in a pair of short shorts and a spaghetti strap tank top. But in Florida, I do. As a matter of fact, that's pretty much what I wear every day. The less clothes the better. That's how hot it is right now.

I am enjoying my new house though. Having stairs again is another adjustment. Who needs a treadmill when I'm stair climbing fifty million times a day, right?

I've been so busy adjusting to Florida that I haven't had a chance to check it all out yet. 

But all in all, I think I'm going to like it. Yes, it's inhumanely hot right now and I can't spend time outside until after 4pm. But fall is just around the corner, right?

There are so many things to do here. I can totally picture myself loving Florida. But I am seriously missing all of my peeps. Cynthia, Pam, Michelle, Jacky, Kerrie, Jan, Roberta...not to mention all of my friends and family in NY and VT that were only a short drive away. You guys are the only thing that keeps pulling me northeast. 

I miss you!

Come visit me! 

♫I'll take you to Universal! ♪

It's an emergency!

Lol!

♥ Jurney Eve

The Countdown Begins

Only 34 days until I move to Florida! 

I'm excited and sad at the same time. 

I'm nowhere near ready. 

I still need to pack and disassemble everything.

 We still haven't closed on the house in Florida even though our closing date was May 20. 

They've extended it until May 27 because they're too incompetent to meet their own closing date. 

I'm a little stressed? 

Can you tell?

I'm going to miss all of the great friends I've made here. 

Not to mention all of my friends and family in New York and Vermont. 

Everyone is going to be so far away.

But I hear that Florida is the #1 family vacation spot in the world, so I'm looking forward to all of them visiting me. 

♫ I'll have a guest room. ♫

♥ Jurney Eve

Life

These last two weeks have been quite eventful for me. 

My husband left for Florida to start a new job, leaving me and the kids behind to finish out the school year on the complete polar opposite side of these United States. But before you all go...

"What?!? How could he do that?!?"

  

...and everything, let me tell you it wasn't his idea for us to stay behind. He wanted us to come with him but the kids and I, didn't think it was a very good idea to start a new school district towards the end of the year. 

Speaking of my kids and starting a new school district next year...my fifteen year old is NOT dealing with the move very well. I feel bad for her because even though I'm an old lady, I still remember what it felt like to be fifteen and to think that your friends were your whole world.

Shout out to my BFF Leigh who moved away when we were fifteen. 

I remember thinking that my life was over and I feared I would never see her again but that was, like, 

23 years ago and we are still going strong. We talk almost everyday...except these last two weeks because things have been so crazy. 

So, if you want to say a little prayer for my daughter I would appreciate it. 

But these last two weeks haven't been all bad. 

Last week was National Crime Victims' Rights Week, where the nation remembers all the crime victims of the past and present. This year, the focus was on the many different victims' support groups that have developed over the last 30 years and I had the privilege to share my personal story of healing at a college in upstate New York.

It was such an amazing experience. 

It was my first time speaking outside of a Christian environment. All of my other speaking engagements were for women's church groups so I was worried that the criminal justice students would think I was a "Jesus Freak" or something and dismiss me...ha ha ha...but they didn't. In fact, everything went really well. Not only do I feel like I reached a lot of people with my story, but I feel like I gained a lot of insight into how I can help more people. I'm so grateful to have gotten that opportunity. I look forward to creating new bonds with all of the wonderful people I met there.

I'd like to give another shout out to Becky, John, Paul, Ree, Veronica and Joyce. 

Thank you for your kind words and your support. 

Each one of you were an inspiration to me and I'd like to thank you from the bottom of my heart...Joyce-Keep me updated please. I really do care. :) 

Other than that tid-bit of good news, I learned that our offer on a house in Florida has been accepted and we are scheduled to close on it by May 19. 


This relieves a lot of stress in my life. I hated the "not knowing" phase of relocating. Were we going to find a house or were we going to be crammed into another tiny apartment again? It was very stressful.

 But, right now, I'm fighting the "Sand Man" so I better get going. I'll try to keep you updated more often. I'm sorry.

♥ Jurney Eve

Chances and Changes

God has been opening some pretty big doors for me lately. Ever since I started on my "journey to heal"...which is what I refer to as the last four years of my life; from the time I got the idea to write about being kidnapped to the present day...I've been asking God to show me what He wants me to do with my story. Who does He want me to help? I want to help as many people as I can. I just don't know how to get started doing that.


I know I'm not going to help anyone unless I put myself out there and talk about it. The problem I'm having is I'm not sure who to approach. My story isn't for everyone. My story is about surviving and healing from a violent sexual assault, which isn't exactly geared for a mainstream audience. But one might think I could approach women's clinics or charity groups or something along those lines. But another very important aspect of my story, and I think the most important aspect, is the relationship I developed with God throughout the last 20 years of my life, which is responsible for healing me. If it wasn't for God I wouldn't be the person I am today. Therefore, I believe I must include Him when I share my story.


Do you see my dilemma?


So...back to the doors that God is opening for me...




Apparently April is Sexual Assault Awareness month and many places all around the nation are raising awareness by hosting events and I have been asked to speak at one of them. On April 14th I will share my story, my whole story, God and all, to approximately 300 people at a college in upstate NY! Is this my answer from God?  We'll see. I'm so excited yet completely terrified at the same time. I'll let you know how that goes.
 


I'm still working on the second edition of Intended Harm but I don't think my goal of having it finished by the end of spring is going to happen because of another huge, life altering change that is about to happen in my family. We are being relocated to Florida this summer with my husband's job. He actually leaves on April 6th because they need him by April 11th, but the kids and I will stay behind to finish out the school year. So I will, essentially, be a single mother to three kids for a couple of months, while working two jobs, editing my book, writing a speech and I'll also be responsible for packing everything we own. I'm very grateful but at times I feel completely overwhelmed. 


Oh no! Look at the time! I'm gonna have to wrap this up because I have to be at my daughter's school in a few minutes. It's Wednesday and on Wednesdays I volunteer in her classroom. 

Thank you God for all of the blessings in my life. 

♥Jurney