I Don't Want To Gain The Whole World And Lose My Soul

I feel that God has been throwing a message at me over the past few months or so. Whether it's through the words of others; the books I've read; lyrics of the songs I've heard; emails or even through Facebook status updates. I feel that God has been trying to remind me that He is not done working in my life. I am not finished growing. My journey is not over. And while I already knew this, I have to admit that I have become a little too comfortable in my relationship with God. A few years ago, when I was writing my book, I was constantly seeking God's healing and guidance. I REALLY needed it because I was in such a bad emotional state.

But I had made such an incredible breakthrough after writing my book. To me, nothing short of a miracle had happened during that time in my life. All of the healing and growing that took place within me was nothing short of a miracle.

A miracle that I was even talking about how I was kidnapped and raped.

A miracle that I had learned how to feel whole again after sixteen years of feeling lost, worthless, broken, unlovable, unfixable, abnormal.

You get the idea.

For the last few years, I have felt so strong in my faith. I was ready to change the world one broken heart at a time. I was running the race I felt God had laid out before me. But I think that I got so caught up in trying to figure out how I could help other people that I stopped trying to figure out how to keep helping myself. And after a while, I started doubting myself. I started feeling discouraged, like I was never going to accomplish all of the things that I wanted to; all of the things that I felt God was calling me to accomplish.

But He has reminded me that I can't take care of others if I don't take care of myself. And so, I need to bring the focus back around to me. Oh, I'm not going to stop reaching out and encouraging others. I'm still going to volunteer at the Victims Service Center, volunteer as a member of RAINN's Speaker Bureau, write my second edition and still raise a little money for the occasional charity on the side, but I will remember to take time to spend with God.

We all lead busy, busy lives but we must remember to take a little time, even if it's only 5 minutes, for ourselves. Pick up your Bible and let it fall open to a random passage; or start at the beginning...I recommend the New Testament...and read a few verses every day. I've started in Ephesians. If we don't take the time to connect with Him and focus on ourselves then we will never be truly happy or be as successful as He meant for us to be.

Faith is not a constant without maintenance and always remember..."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

♥ Jurney Eve

God Works in Subtle Ways

The Revolve Tour was amazing! 

I'm so thankful that I got to bring my daughter and her friends. I hope the weekend, with all of the inspiring messages and music,  meant as much to them as they meant to me. I honestly didn't expect too much this weekend for myself because the last time I volunteered for The Revolve Tour I had so many responsibilities that I didn't get an opportunity to listen to any of the speakers or musicians.

A small price to pay for my daughter and her friends. :) 

But this year, I had very few responsibilities, one of which was to sit with our girls once the show started. It was a much different experience than the last time. The gentleman in charge of the volunteers told us he wanted us to remember that this is a ministry that is trying to reach people and encourage and inspire them. And while we already knew that, of course, it was so nice to hear it coming from him. As a volunteer, I was used to just hearing the facts...learn the layout of the arena; learn where the elevators are; learn where the mens' rooms are; learn how to keep the crowd controlled...It was nice to be reminded of what and why we were really volunteering. You know?

Plus, if I hadn't been sitting with my girls I wouldn't have been ministered to. God works in subtle ways. This year, I applied for the volunteer position of "Talent Runner", which if I had gotten it would've meant that I would work behind the scenes with the speakers. I thought it would be an amazing opportunity for me to see what it's like for them to prepare to speak in front of thousands of people. It would be a great learning experience for me since I'm so new to public speaking. But I didn't get it.

Aww! Boo hoo!

But don't cry for me yet. Instead, I got to relax and really listen to what they had to say. There were two new speakers this year and I think God brought me to that seat next to my girls just so I would hear their stories .

One of the new speakers was Jamie Grace. Jamie's story is different than mine in many ways but in some ways it is similar. Jamie struggles with Tourette Syndrome. Tourettes is a neuropychiatric disorder that begins in childhood, characterized by multiple physical "tics" and at least one vocal "tic". The "tics" are sudden, repetitive, stereotyped, nonrhythmic movements and utterances. Tourette's was once considered a rare and bizarre syndrome, most often associated with the exclamation of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks, but this symptom is present in only a small minority of people with Tourette's. In Jamie's case, her "tics" involved her legs and arms. They were sudden, frequent, repetitive and she couldn't control them. She spent most of her life trying to be "normal". All she wanted was to fit in instead of stand out. Until one day she realized she was sick of trying to be "normal". She decided she didn't want to fit in.  Why fit in when she could stand out for God and be an inspiration to others who are also struggling with Tourettes. So she started speaking out and she became an activist and now she's on The Revolve Tour.

She tells it way better.

Not only am I inspired by her decision to accept her condition and her passion to help others, I'm encouraged by her because she started out just trusting that God wanted to use her to help others and now she's reaching thousands of people. Who knows, maybe one day I'll be in a position where I can reach thousands of people too...and maybe not. I'm just going to trust God and accept what ever He throws my way with as much grace and humility as I can. 

In the meantime, you should check out Jamie Grace. Maybe she will inspire you as much as she has inspired and encouraged me. 

http://www.jamie-grace.com/

♥Jurney Eve