Are you struggling with something right now and you feel like you keep praying and praying but nothing seems to be happening? How many times have you cried out, "God please take this!"?
Most of us are standing at a road we didn't plan but that doesn't mean we should give up. I know from experience that when we pray to God sometimes He answers with a 'Yes', sometimes He answers with a 'No' and sometimes He says, 'Not yet.' I don't know why God does the things He does but I trust Him and I know that He knows what's best for me...and what's best for you. Please don't stop reaching for Him.
I told Robin not to bring him near me.
He did. I told Robin not to leave me alone with him. He did. I tried to defend myself from his usual habits. He didn’t do what he usually does. Oh no. He did something MUCH worse. And now My life is actually over. I can’t keep going on like this okay Once was enough to break me. That one time has given me a chance to overcome myself. But twice? I know I think badly of myself, but nobody deserves to go through that even once, let alone twice. And by two different people as well. He was right. I’m nothing but a
cheap, worthless whore and I do deserve to die. So why not put everyone
out of their misery?
Anonymous:
Hellloooo. Just saw your last post and thought I'd pop in to say that,
although I don't know you, I'm sure you're not cheap, worthless or a
whore. Also, you don't deserve to die, and your death would likely
create a lot of misery rather than relieve it. Come on, Kayleigh. :)
Kayleigh: So this made me smile a little Even though you are completely wrong Still, thank you
Anonymous: Hmmm, well, I'm not sure how to convince you that I'm right. How can I
convince you that you are none of the bad things you said you are?
Kayleigh: You can’t. Unless you can reverse being raped twice. So yeah, you can’t.
Anonymous:
I'm very sorry that that happened to you, but I
don't understand how it makes you cheap, worthless or a whore. I also
don't understand why you would think that it means that you deserve to
die. Do you think the same of other rape victims?
Kayleigh:
Of course not! But those were his words and they describe how I feel right now better than anything else.
Anonymous:
I know that it is very easy to believe it when
people say horrible things. But perhaps... you should also believe it
when people say good things about you. Of course you feel bad right now,
but that doesn't mean that you are bad. If the person who said those
things to you is the same person that raped you, surely he isn't a
credible source. In fact, I'd say that he is the one who is cheap, and
worthless. Please consider what I've said? :)
Kayleigh:
I just feel so… Vulnerable right now. Like, is that what everyone sees
me as? Just some girl who allows people to rape her? The first time, I
can understand how it wasn’t my fault. But the fact it happened twice
now makes me wonder if I am as bad as he said.
Anonymous:
Kay? Are you still there? Please be there.
Kayleigh:
I’m still here. Barely. Thank you for your concern though :)
Anonymous:
Thank God. You're right, you know. You don't deserve what happened to
you. Not even the first time. You have handled things so well so far.
You looked death in the face and gave it a big fat 'f*** you'. You have
so many people on your side, who all want you happy. A Kayleigh standom,
almost! Prove us right, and yourself wrong. Show that jerk that nobody
messes with Kayleigh Preston and gets away with it!
Kayleigh:
Omfg a Kayleigh standom though You seem to have more faith in me than I deserve. Thank you :3
Kayleigh Anne-Marie Preston committed suicide the next day.
May 6, 1993 - Jan 31, 2012
You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
For those of you who don't know who Jonah Mowry is, he's a teenager who has recently posted a video on YouTube about being bullied. He didn't say a single word in the video. He told his story through a series of notes. It is a very moving video. It touched so many people and inspired them to respond to Jonah. I want to share one of those response videos with you. It was made by a friend of mine who can relate to Jonah all too well. I'm so proud of you Jay for coming forward and allowing us to see the vulnerable side of you. You are truly an inspiration to us all. ♥
Today I feel like I have a huge hole in my heart. Somebody I love with my absolute whole heart is in pain and I feel powerless to help her. How can someone who is amazingly gifted, beautiful, smart, inspiring, loving...How can they not see themselves the way everyone else does? Here I go, being all hypocritical, when in fact, it wasn't that long ago that I struggled with my own self-esteem. I think everybody struggles with that from time to time. When it was me, I remember just how awful I felt about myself. I also remember all of the things I did to try and boost my self-esteem. I guess that's why I am so sad right now. I don't want her to do what I did. I don't want her to inadvertently hurt herself on her quest for perfection. Everything within me wants to wrap her in my arms and tell her how much I
love her and just how important she is to me...and to so many other
people. I want to tell her, fail or succeed it doesn't matter. She can make a million mistakes...it doesn't matter. She is perfectly imperfect...just like everyone else. People beat themselves up on a daily basis trying to be perfect...trying to look perfect...trying to act perfect. But how boring would this world be if everyone was the same? We would have no music...no lyrics...no artists...no actors...no athletes...no books...(*gasp*)
Think about your favorite musician. Now think about what would have become of them if they allowed their uniqueness to be stifled in the hopes of being and looking and acting like everyone else. Embrace your uniqueness. Embrace your beautiful self. Because you ARE beautiful! All of those things that make you different are the things that people treasure most about you.
"For You created my inmost being:
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
