Thursday

Zombie Daughter

Today I want to share something that a friend of mine shared with me recently. Not too long ago she attended a journaling and collage workshop called Art For The Heart. The workshop starts out with everyone choosing random pictures from a table. You're told to just choose whatever "speaks" to you. Don't worry about what or why, just choose. Then you take a seat and make a collage out of the pictures you've chosen and when you're all done you complete a journaling exercise based on your collage. She said she was surprised by how much each collage seemed to represent her. That making them contributed to her healing. She said it was an amazingly spiritual experience for her. Painful at times because when completing the journaling exercise some old wounds came to the surface and she was forced to deal with them, but overall it was an incredibly rewarding experience that she highly recommends.

She gave me permission to share one of her collages with you. This particular collage deals with a dark time in her life after her decision to abort her baby and the shame and regret she felt for so long because of it. I think it is truly a beautiful thing when someone allows others to see their pain. It's not an easy thing to do, especially when a Christian is opening up about abortion. There is a lot of healing power in that, not only for the person sharing it but for the ones who witness it. So I hope Kristy's art touches you as much as it has touched me.

                           (Sorry about the picture quality. I took it with my phone. I wish I had taken a 
better picture so you could see it how I did.)


Zombie Daughter



I am the Zombie Daughter. I am the one who feels nothing. I am emotionally dead. I am buried in stench and death because I took my child's opportunity for life! I am the one who goes through life in a zombie-like state covering over who I really am, hoping someone will hear me scream behind my veil.

The Zombie Daughter was with me for 19 years-imprisoned by shame, self-hatred, guilt and unforgiveness. She thinks she deserves to be surrounded by the stench of death. The dark, bloody cloud is always hovering over her, keeping her down. She tries to creep up with her attitude of unforgiveness at times but has in every other way and for this particular sin...she has been saved.

At the time, during those years, I was her judge, jury, and convictor. She didn't deserve life, joy, forgiveness, love and absolutely, without question, did not deserve the love of God. He would think she was despicable in His holy presence! 

In no way does she reveal God's dignity!

Oh Lord, this was my scarlet letter. My choice. My abortion buried me; buried my soul in a pit of death's stench! I am so forgiving of others but was last to forgive myself...as if to say what Jesus did on the cross wasn't big enough to cover my sin. How could I say that?!? How arrogant! It absolutely was and I am forever grateful to Him for forgiving me.


"You know I was with you-even then. 
I have shown you how I loved you even 
as this choice was being made!! 
You chose to shut me out. I tried to woo you even then! 
She was always my daughter. I cried with her! 
I know of every tear that was shed behind that veil.
Each one was and is precious to me. 
I removed the stench of death. 
I breathed in forgiveness, life, love, joy 
and I see nothing but beauty my daughter!"


I love you Father!

Wednesday

My Friend's Response to Jonah Mowry

For those of you who don't know who Jonah Mowry is, he's a teenager who has recently posted a video on YouTube about being bullied. He didn't say a single word in the video. He told his story through a series of notes. It is a very moving video. It touched so many people and inspired them to respond to Jonah.

I want to share one of those response videos with you. It was made by a friend of mine who can relate to Jonah all too well. 

I'm so proud of you Jay for coming forward and allowing us to see the vulnerable side of you. You are truly an inspiration to us all. ♥




♥ Diana
(aka Jurney Eve)

Monday

Breaking Free

Today I did something I have been planning on doing for the last twenty years.

I bought a bicycle and I rode it.

If you are not familiar with my story you may be thinking, "Big deal! What's so special about that?" Well, I'll tell you.

Twenty years ago, I was riding my bicycle when a man ran me over with his pickup truck...on purpose. Yes, on purpose! After running me over he did a slew of other things to me which landed him in prison and me in a sort of prison of my own. In my prison, I felt as if everyone around me was trying to hurt me so I had to constantly be on my guard. I couldn't go to certain places or I couldn't do certain things because they would make me vulnerable. I lived in fear of everyone around me. I looked at each and every person as a possible crazy person who just wanted to hurt me. I stopped doing a lot of things because of this fear of "what could happen to me". One of which was riding a bicycle. 

For a long time, I felt I couldn't get back on a bicycle because it would remind me of that day and of what that man did to me. But lately, I've been dealing with my memories instead of suppressing them and because of that I thought it was time for me to deal with  this fear as well. 

I could get back on a bicycle. 

But when I let myself really think about it and imagine myself riding on the side of the road with my back to traffic, I had a mini panic attack.  It felt like my blood was racing through my veins. I could feel my heart pounding inside of my chest. As much as I wanted to tackle this next obstacle, I wasn't sure if I actually could. 

But who says you have to ride on the side of the road with your back to traffic? Well, I guess technically the law says that but have you ever seen anyone actually enforce it?.......Me neither. So I've decided I would buy a bicycle and I would ride it on the sidewalk. 

I'm such a rebel! 

And that's exactly what I did today and I'm going to do it again tomorrow.

What did you do today?





♥ Jurney Eve





Wednesday

Can Anybody Hear Her?


This song has been on my heart lately. Probably because I was once just like that lost girl who was running 100 miles per hour in the wrong direction. If everyone had turned their backs on me because of my "scarlet letter" then I would have turned out to be a much different person than I am today.
"Be the change you want to see in the world".





Can anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Judgement looms under every steeple
In lofty glances from lofty people
We can't see through her scarlet letter
And we never even met her.

Can anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?





♥ Jurney Eve


Sunday

It's OK To Tell by Lauren Book

I just read a book called It's Ok To Tell by Lauren Book and I simply MUST recommend it to you.

Lauren was a victim of childhood sexual abuse for six years at the hands of her nanny starting at the age of 11. She kept her abuse a secret for all of those years because her abuser knew exactly how to keep Lauren silent through manipulation and fear. In her book, Lauren gives you a unique insight into what she was feeling during the abuse and why she felt she couldn't tell anyone what was happening to her.

What I find so amazing about it is how she answers the question that so many victims of childhood sexual abuse face...and that is...Why didn't you tell someone about your abuse?

I am also in awe of Lauren's courage. Not only did she have the strength to tell her story but she had the strength to face people and their accusations.

When I reported my rape, no one questioned whether or not I was raped.
No one asked me why I went for a bike ride all by myself.
No one asked me why I was wearing what I was wearing.
No one asked me if I enjoyed it.

Lauren had to endure questions that no rape victim should ever have to answer.

She inspires me. Not only does she have the courage to tell but she is truly making a difference. Armed with the knowledge that 95 percent of sexual abuse is preventable through education, Lauren has worked to turn her horrific personal experience into a vehicle to prevent childhood sexual abuse and heal survivors by starting Lauren's Kids.


Lauren's Kids encourages victims to "shine a light in dark places" and "shed the shame." Lauren's Kids is based in South Florida and educates adults and children about sexual abuse topics through in-school curriculum, a 24-hour Crisis Hotline and speaking engagements around the country. She also has taken proactive efforts to make Florida a safer place through advocacy for the passage of State Laws that protect and help victims heal and become survivors.

Lauren's Kids holds an annual, statewide "Walk in My Shoes" event, which brings together survivors and advocates on a walk across Florida to raise awareness and promote supportive legislation. This year I am going to show my appreciation for Lauren by participating in the third annual Walk in My Shoes event on February 4th.

Won't you consider joining me?



♥ Jurney Eve







Tuesday

Don't Let Your Insecurities Alter You

Today I had my first speaking engagement since moving to Florida. It was for the Florida Crime Prevention Training Institute where I would be addressing victim's advocates from all walks of life. I only had about five hours to prepare for it and I was so nervous. All of my usual insecurities came rushing to the surface.
What if I freeze up there? 
What if I forget my place?
What if they don't like what I have to say?
What if I stutter?
What if I start to cry?
What if I trip on my own feet on my way to the podium and knock it over? And then what if the podium knocks over the first row of seats and then the next row and then the next row, creating a domino effect that causes serious bodily injuries............ 


It could happen!

Needless to say, I was a little nervous.

Before I got out of my car to go into the conference, I said a little prayer, like I always do, asking God to calm my nerves and to give me wisdom. I have a little saying I like to say. It's "Not my will but Your's Lord." I say that because I like to remind myself why I started talking about my assault in the first place. I don't do to bring glory to myself. I do what I do because I feel that the Lord is calling me to do it. To help people.

And that was when a little epiphany popped into my head. Why am so nervous?!? I am about to speak to a room full of people who, just like me, do what they do because they want to help people. It wouldn't matter if I stuttered; or if I lost my place; or if I cried; although it might matter if I tripped and inadvertently caused serious bodily injury, but my point is...they wouldn't care about all of those tiny little things that I was feeling so insecure about. And then, the most amazing thing happened. God spoke to me. Well, kind of. In reality a song came on the radio but I have a feeling that it was meant just for me at just that particular moment in time. Lol!




It was Walk On The Water by Britt Nicole and I know it was just for me because the radio like never plays Britt Nicole. So that's the story I'm running with.

Anyways, The song is about our doubts and insecurities and how we can't let them stop us from stepping out and doing what we know we were meant to do...helping others and making a difference in this world. So I wanted to share it with you. Maybe it will inspire you like it inspires me.

"So step out
Even when a storm hits.
Step out
Even when you're broken.
Step out
Even when your heart is telling you, telling you to give up.
Step out
When your hope is stolen.
When you can't see where you're going.
You don't have to be afraid.

So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose? 
Your insecurities they try to alter you.
You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move.
Your faith is all it takes and you can walk on the water too."

-Britt Nicole





♥ Jurney Eve








Thursday

True Colors

Today I feel like I have a huge hole in my heart.

Somebody I love with my absolute whole heart is in pain and I feel powerless to help her.

How can someone who is amazingly gifted, beautiful, smart, inspiring, loving...How can they not see themselves the way everyone else does?

Here I go, being all hypocritical, when in fact, it wasn't that long ago that I struggled with my own self-esteem. I think everybody struggles with that from time to time. When it was me, I remember just how awful I felt about myself. I also remember all of the things I did to try and boost my self-esteem. I guess that's why I am so sad right now. I don't want her to do what I did. I don't want her to inadvertently hurt herself on her quest for perfection.

Everything within me wants to wrap her in my arms and tell her how much I love her and just how important she is to me...and to so many other people. I want to tell her, fail or succeed it doesn't matter. She can make a million mistakes...it doesn't matter. She is perfectly imperfect...just like everyone else.

People beat themselves up on a daily basis trying to be perfect...trying to look perfect...trying to act perfect. But how boring would this world be if everyone was the same? We would have no music...no lyrics...no artists...no actors...no athletes...no books...(*gasp*)

Think about your favorite musician. Now think about what would have become of them if they allowed their uniqueness to be stifled in the hopes of being and looking and acting like everyone else. 

Embrace your uniqueness. Embrace your beautiful self. Because you ARE beautiful!

All of those things that make you different are the things that people treasure most about you.


"For You created my inmost being: 
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
Psalm 139:13-14








♥ Jurney Eve

Let It RAINN

So, my first day as a volunteer advocate at my local Victims Service Center went well. They told me they would like to use me at the SATC (Sexual Assault Treatment Center) where I could be there to support the victims that come in for treatment within 72 hours after they've been assaulted. It will be my job to comfort them and provide them with information about what to expect next.

What to expect if she/he decides to report the assault.

What to expect if she/he decides not to report the assault.

What types of emotions and coping mechanisms they can expect.

What will happen if their case goes to trial.

Where they can look for victim's compensation.

But most importantly, I will be there to comfort them.

I didn't have a victims advocate when I was assaulted. I don't know why. Maybe I was offered one but I refused. I don't remember much about what happened after I was rescued. It was like my brain shut down once it knew I was safe. The only thing I do remember with acute clarity was Tina, my quiet comforter. Tina was a girl that I went to school with and for some reason that I still do not know, she was there with me.  She stood silently next to me while chaos broke loose around me. We barely spoke to each other but just having her near me was comforting. She wasn't an adult. She wasn't a police officer. She wasn't a paramedic. She was just a girl from my high school but she's the only person I remember clearly out of all of my rescuers from that day.

Maybe I can be that for somebody.

I have come such a long way since that day. Heck, I've come a long way since 2007 when I finally worked up the courage to share my story online. Back then it was still too painful to talk about. That's why I chose to write about it. But it wasn't just writing about it that made me feel better. It was interacting with other survivors online that made me realize that I wasn't a freak for feeling the way I did.

Back then I wasn't able to talk about how I was kidnapped and raped so I never went to counseling. I never had the courage to call a hotline or anything.  If there was an online hotline or support group I might have been all over that. But there wasn't...until now. Now there is a completely anonymous, online hotline that victims and their families can go to for support as well as information about recovery, medical issues, the criminal justice process, and local resources that can help them too. It is provided by RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network).

RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization and it was named one of "America's 100 Best Charities" by Worth magazine. RAINN provides support through their hotlines, educates the public about sexual violence, and works with policy makers to improve the system for the victims. Many changes have come about since my assault in 1991 and RAINN played a huge part in that.

I personally am a proud supporter of RAINN as well as a member of their Speakers Bureau. If you are a victim of sexual violence or abuse, I strongly urge you to use one of RAINN's hotlines. You can call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or you can go online at online.rainn.org.

I wish I hadn't waited sixteen years before I started talking about my assault. I wish I hadn't allowed it to control so much of my life for so long. And I wish that my story will inspire others to come forward and end their silence as well.

There is power in your voice.







♥ Jurney Eve

















Wednesday

I just got this nifty blogger app on my phone and I wanted to test it out.

Jurney
                             


Monday

I Don't Want To Gain The Whole World And Lose My Soul

I feel that God has been throwing a message at me over the past few months or so. Whether it's through the words of others; the books I've read; lyrics of the songs I've heard; emails or even through Facebook status updates. I feel that God has been trying to remind me that He is not done working in my life. I am not finished growing. My journey is not over. And while I already knew this, I have to admit that I have become a little too comfortable in my relationship with God. A few years ago, when I was writing my book, I was constantly seeking God's healing and guidance. I REALLY needed it because I was in such a bad emotional state.

But I had made such an incredible breakthrough after writing my book. To me, nothing short of a miracle had happened during that time in my life. All of the healing and growing that took place within me was nothing short of a miracle.

A miracle that I was even talking about how I was kidnapped and raped.

A miracle that I had learned how to feel whole again after sixteen years of feeling lost, worthless, broken, unlovable, unfixable, abnormal.

You get the idea.

For the last few years, I have felt so strong in my faith. I was ready to change the world one broken heart at a time. I was running the race I felt God had laid out before me. But I think that I got so caught up in trying to figure out how I could help other people that I stopped trying to figure out how to keep helping myself. And after a while, I started doubting myself. I started feeling discouraged, like I was never going to accomplish all of the things that I wanted to; all of the things that I felt God was calling me to accomplish.

But He has reminded me that I can't take care of others if I don't take care of myself. And so, I need to bring the focus back around to me. Oh, I'm not going to stop reaching out and encouraging others. I'm still going to volunteer at the Victims Service Center, volunteer as a member of RAINN's Speaker Bureau, write my second edition and still raise a little money for the occasional charity on the side, but I will remember to take time to spend with God.

We all lead busy, busy lives but we must remember to take a little time, even if it's only 5 minutes, for ourselves. Pick up your Bible and let it fall open to a random passage; or start at the beginning...I recommend the New Testament...and read a few verses every day. I've started in Ephesians. If we don't take the time to connect with Him and focus on ourselves then we will never be truly happy or be as successful as He meant for us to be.

Faith is not a constant without maintenance and always remember..."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13





♥ Jurney Eve

Sunday

Remembering September 11th

Like many of you, I have been glued to the television all morning watching the September 11th ceremonies that are taking place throughout the country.

This is such an extremely sad day for so many of us and I wish I had something clever or uplifting to say but I don't because after ten years...I am still speechless!

So in honor of all of those people who lost their lives, their children, their parents, their spouses, their co-workers, and their friends. May God be with you.







♥ Jurney Eve

Friday

I Survived

About 4 months ago, I thought it would be a groovy idea to submit my story to the show "I Survived" on the Biography channel. To be honest, I really didn't expect to ever hear back from them. I figured, they must get 1000's of submissions if not more every week. What are the odds that they would actually take the time to read every single one of them? I mean, I must have written to Oprah about a dozen times over the past two years and no one from her show ever called me. Lol! So I was a little shocked when I got a call from them a month later.



Come to find out, they were interested in little ol' me. This man from the show called me to see if I was still interested in being on the show.  I got the impression that his job was to "feel me out" so to speak. To find out how well I could talk about what happened to me. If I wasn't comfortable talking to him then I probably wouldn't be a good candidate for the show. He explained the ins and outs of how it all worked and answered any questions I had. Then he told me that if the producers thought I would be a good fit then I would get another call later on.

After that phone call I started wondering if going on this show was a good idea after all. For those of you who aren't familiar with the show, it is a documentary of sorts. Each episode takes about 3 different people who have been through some kind of tragedy and it allows them to tell their story in their own words. The focus is on the actual tragedy and how the person managed to survive and it includes as many details as possible.

Telling my story isn't what bothers me. I've told it before. What worries me is that the show isn't interested in what happened to me afterwards...my struggles, my recovery, my faith. They are only interested in the actual crime and how I escaped and that's not why I tell my story. I decided to tell my story in the hope of helping others who have been sexually assaulted or abused. I want them to know that I too went through something horrible. I want to let them know how much I struggled with what happened to me just like they may still be struggling. I want to share my faith with people. I don't so much want to tell them what happened to me but how I recovered from it.

Now to tell you my other concerns for doing the show...How about the fact that the man who kidnapped me isn't rehabilitated and has tried to find me in the past. What if he watches the show and sees my story...his story? That could open a whole new can of worms for him. Or what about the fact that every April there's a chance he will be released from prison. Am I letting him control me still? I don't think so. If I felt that going on this show would further my recovery and help other people, I would take those risks. But I don't feel like it would do either one of those things.

Well, yesterday I received another call from the show asking me if they could come down and interview me. I told them  about my concerns and I asked them if I could think about it. So the director is supposed to call me today. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a good show that is very tastefully done. It portrays the survivor's in a good light. But it is what it is...a show about a tragedy and how the person survived and that's as far as it takes the viewer. I don't want my story to become a form of entertainment on a Sunday evening...cuz that's when the shows on, by the way.

And because of this, I've decided I'm NOT going to do the show. I hope you all understand and aren't too disappointed in my decision.

♥ Jurney

Thursday

I Dare You To Have A Good Day

Today is going to be a good day.

I can just feel it.

I got the kids off to school with only a few minor altercations between my two youngest. I didn't get stuck in the mile long traffic jam on the way to drop my oldest child off at the high school. I've had my required two cups of coffee, I'm already showered and it's not even 10am. I'd say this is one for the record books.

Since I'm in such a wonderful mood this morning I wanted to do something for you in the hopes of putting you in one as well. I'm going to share a music video with you. But this isn't just any music video. This is a ♫magical ♪music video. It makes anyone who listens to it instantly happy. When I listen to this song I can't help myself. I find myself singing and be bopping along...and that's when I'm in public. You should see what it does to me in the privacy of my own home.

Although, those of you who know me personally know that there's not much difference between how I act at home and how I act in public. It's true. Just ask my kids.

So here's the ♪magical ♫video. I challenge you not to dance or be bop along or nod your head or tap your foot or snap your fingers or smile...

This is Headphones by Britt Nicole. I dare you to have a good day!








♥ Jurney Eve

Wednesday

I am on fire!






I have been busy working on the second edition of Intended Harm and I am so close to being finished.

Sure my house is a little dirty. And maybe my lawn could use a little attention. But I haven't felt this inspired in quite some time so I'm going to take advantage of it while I can. Plus, it helps keep my nerves calm because in case you haven't noticed...

There's a hurricane coming! 





It's supposed to pass by me either Thursday or Friday. So if you don't hear from me for a while it means things didn't go well. 

Of course, it could just mean that I'm being lazy and haven't updated my blog because we all know how responsible I am at that. ;)



♥ Jurney Eve

Sunday

The View From My Pew

Sorry I've been so quiet lately. Things have been a little chaotic here. 

It has been one and a half months since I moved to Florida and it has taken a lot of adjusting...for all of us. One of those adjustments has been finding a new church. 

Finding a new church isn't as easy as going to the church down the street or even finding the closest church that is the same denomination as your old church. When I search for a new church I don't limit my search to a certain denomination. True, I always start with a certain denomination but to choose a church for my family depends on way more than that. 

First, they have to offer a service that is later than 9:30 am. That might sound like a stupid criteria to most but let's face it. I have three children that I have to motivate, feed and help get ready in the morning. Not to mention, I have to get myself ready and for those that don't know me...I am NOT a morning person. So the later the service starts, the better.

Then, they must have a service for my two younger children during the Sunday service. If my kids have to sit with me then I never get to listen to the message and be ministered to. Plus, I think that they learn more when the service is specifically geared towards them. You know, age appropriate?

A mid-week youth group for my kids is a must have as well. Especially one for my oldest child. I think it is extremely important for my high-schooler to meet other Christian kids her age. She's surrounded by a very high percentage of non-Christian teenagers throughout the school year. It's crucial that she has friends that have the same values as her. I know all too well how easy it is to be influenced by the people around you and your surroundings. If I can make my children's lives a little easier for them to make right choices by getting them involved in church youth groups, then I'm going to do it. 

Another criteria in the search for a church is they must have a contemporary praise and worship style. 
Hymns aren't for me. 
Praise and worship is very important to me because I love music. Contemporary Christian music moves me. It inspires me. Plus...it keeps me awake after those busy mornings when I didn't get enough caffeine before the service.

But the most important criteria for finding a new church is...it needs to feel right. When I attend a service at the church I eventually choose, I just know it. You know?

When I moved to CT, I searched for months before I found the right one. During those months I went to many different churches, but none of them felt right. None of them gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. When I finally found my new church in CT, I knew it was the one. 

It's hard to explain.

Which brings me back to my search for a new church in Florida. Since we've been here, we've attended a few different churches. The first one met all of our criteria but one. 

It just didn't feel right. 

It was by far, the largest church we have ever been to. The size was pretty intimidating at first. I thought that maybe it didn't feel right to me because I was uncomfortable with the size. But after giving it an adequate amount of time, I decided that this wasn't the one for us. It seems like a great church. It has so much to offer. There were so many people that you could tell genuinely loved the Lord. The church has a very large youth group. I really wanted to like this one but it just didn't feel right.

There were a few other churches after that, and while they all were wonderful, none of them felt right. Until today...I believe I have found our new church. It meets all of our criteria. 

The service starts at 10:45. (Yay for sleeping in.)

It has a children's service...and my kids loved it.

It has a youth group for my oldest child...although we haven't checked it out yet. Hopefully she'll like it.  
(fingers crossed)

The music program is very contemporary. Probably the most contemporary praise and worship I have ever heard at church. They opened with a Barlow Girl song. Never Alone. It was awesome!

I also discovered that this church has small groups that meet throughout the week. That's not unusual though. Most churches have small groups that meet throughout the week.The groups are based on common interests, such as...a women's Bible study group...a mens' group...a group for 20 somethings...a group for singles...a group for married couples...things like that. I don't usually join any of the small groups because no one ever seems to have a group that fits my life. I could join the women's Bible study group but at my last church it met on Saturdays at, like, 8am or something and we've already established that I'm not a morning person. I could join the married couples group but I'm pretty sure I would need to bring my husband with me and he can't commit to a weekly group. He works way too much...plus, I haven't been able to get him to go to a Sunday service with me since we lived in Vermont and his mommy made him go. So that group is out of the question. 

No one ever has a group for 30- something working mothers who's husbands don't support their desire to go to church more than once a week...and so I've never joined one.

Well, this church doesn't have a group like that either but it has all of those other groups and then some. This church has a group for women who are searching for recovery and healing after sexual abuse. Now I'm sure this isn't the only church in the world that has a group focused on helping people recover from sexual abuse, but it's the first one I've ever seen...and I've researched a lot of different churches in many different states. 

I move a lot.

So, not only does this church feel right, it offers a ministry that is geared specifically toward the very thing that I have dedicated the last four years of my life to...helping people recover after sexual abuse. I will definitely check this group out. Me finding this church seems to have God's hand written all over it. 


I trust God to lead me in the right direction. I won't pretend to have all the answers. I know that I don't. I am still learning, healing and growing myself. I still don't know exactly what God's plan for my life is but I know I'm moving in the right direction. How do I know that? It just feels right.




♥ Jurney Eve



Saturday

The Daily ReTORt: Montage of Funny Church Signs

Click Here: "Here's a video collection of dozens of different and funny signs posted outside of churches. The music bed is a song called 'This Life was Meant to Shine" by Mercy Me.

Friday

The journey: The Royal Rule

 This was written by my friend Lori and I loved it so much that I wanted to share it with you. What a great message. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

The journey: The Royal Rule:


♥ Jurney Eve

Tuesday

Florida

Today marks the 19th day since I've lived in Florida.

19 days of unpacking and organizing and googling "how to take care of a pool".

Which is more time consuming than I originally imagined. 

19 days of map questing my way around town and registering my children for school. 

And hopefully they have already forgotten about my little outburst at my oldest daughter's school. At the very least, I hope they've forgotten what I look like. I'd hate to have my impatience influence the way my daughter is treated at school. Not one of my proudest moments. Florida's rules of registration are quite different from any other state I've ever lived in. 

19 days of searching for a family doctor, registering our cars and getting my Florida driver's license.

And the question I keep hearing is..."How do you like Florida?"

You would think this would be an easy question to answer. It's pretty cut and dry. Do I like Florida or not. But it's not that simple. For the last 19 days, I've been holed up in my house unpacking and organizing or driving around town trying to figure out where everything essential is. 

We did get to go to Universal Studios for a couple of days and that was fun...inhumanely hot, but fun. 

I have had to adjust a little. Such as...modesty has gone out the window. In Connecticut I would never go out in public in a pair of short shorts and a spaghetti strap tank top. But in Florida, I do. As a matter of fact, that's pretty much what I wear every day. The less clothes the better. That's how hot it is right now.

I am enjoying my new house though. Having stairs again is another adjustment. Who needs a treadmill when I'm stair climbing fifty million times a day, right?

I've been so busy adjusting to Florida that I haven't had a chance to check it all out yet. 

But all in all, I think I'm going to like it. Yes, it's inhumanely hot right now and I can't spend time outside until after 4pm. But fall is just around the corner, right?

There are so many things to do here. I can totally picture myself loving Florida. But I am seriously missing all of my peeps. Cynthia, Pam, Michelle, Jacky, Kerrie, Jan, Roberta...not to mention all of my friends and family in NY and VT that were only a short drive away. You guys are the only thing that keeps pulling me northeast. 

I miss you!

Come visit me! 

♫I'll take you to Universal! ♪

It's an emergency!

Lol!


♥ Jurney Eve

What Are You Waiting For...

If you are not already a fan of Britt Nicole then you need to check her out. You will love her. Her music is so uplifting and encouraging. Every time I listen to one of her songs I am inspired to become a better person. This one song in particular inspires me to step out and try harder to be the person that God has planned for me to be. Maybe it will inspire you in the same way.

"So what are you waiting for? 
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to alter you.
You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes and you can
Walk on the water too."







♥ Jurney Eve

Friday

MySpace

Remember when MySpace was cool and Facebook was lame?

Now it's embarrassing to even admit that you still have a MySpace page. Well, I'm going to step out on the ledge here and say...

"I HAVE A MYSPACE PAGE!" 

 
I rarely use it and I have considered deleting it a few times but for some reason I've never gotten around to doing it. The only reason I even know it still exists is because I keep getting random "friend requests" from people whom I'm sure aren't really sitting in front of their computers anxiously waiting for me to accept their requests. Like, Matthew McConaughey has nothing better to do with his time than fawn over me on MySpace. 

Well tonight I have received my last message through MySpace. Tonight's the night I will finally delete my account, but first I would like to share my last message with you. I received it this evening and it comes from a man named Chris.



"Hey! I like your profile and would like to ask you something. 
I work a lot, and travel a lot, and have little time for dating in the usual sense. Would you consider having a physical relationship with a hard working, college educated guy? This isn't something cheap and dirty. I do want conversation, cuddling, tenderness, all the good parts of a physical relationship. It would be fulfilling to both of us, we would just fast forward the beginning of the relationship. It would start and end when you decide.
I don't expect you to decide now, just to be open to the idea. I would suggest a quick meeting, to see if there is chemistry, and then we can decide from there. But the first step is for you to be open to the idea, and to write back to me. So send me a message....
Chris



 Is this guy for real? Are there actual women that would read this and consider meeting him? I hope not. Who sends these kinds of messages? I bet The Craigslist Killer sent messages like this and apparently they worked for him. 

You'll be happy to know that I do not plan on responding. Ha ha ha!


♥Jurney

Wednesday

The Circle of Life

Tonight, I am fascinated by the great circle of life.

In fact, I feel a need to bow in silence as I listen to Elton John sing about it in the background.



After listening to my daughter and her friend talk about all the different trials and and questions they are faced with as high school students today, I have realized that time has a quirky way of repeating itself. I've listened to all of their questions and concerns about the problems that the average teenager is faced with today and I've come to the conclusion that they are the same problems and concerns that I faced as a teenager myself...more or less.

Not only that, but have you seen some of the styles that are coming back? I mean...really?!?
Skinny jeans?...Off the shoulder shirts?...Neon colors?...I found these pictures in my daughter's picture folder. Can you honestly say that they wouldn't fit right into a John Hughes movie?


Except today they're made out of duct tape.

Anyways...my point is...we are all connected. As a teenager I never understood this...more importantly I didn't want to.

All of the trials you're faced with at a young age, you can guarantee that you're Mom or your Aunt has been through them as well. And though you may think of us "old people" as incompetent and senile, there will come a day when you will look to us for wisdom.

What's worse...there will come a day when you're sitting on the couch, listening to your fifteen year old daughter and her friend talk about all the drama in their lives and you'll want to desperately chime in with a "when-I-was-your-age" story but when you do they'll just look at you as if you have just sprouted wings and then suddenly decide they're tired and need to go to bed...not that that just happened to me or anything. I'm just saying that it COULD happen.

♥ Jurney Eve

Monday

What Christianity is Not - from Imperfect People In Love With A Perfect God

What Christianity Is Not...



What you wear to church on Sunday
 
Who you know
 
Where you are from
 
What church you did or didn’t grow up in
 
Pretending
 
A denomination
 
A pastor
 
A magic prayer
 
A ritual
 
A megaphone yelling about eternal damnation
 
A club
 
A church
 
Money
 
How perfect you seem or don’t seem
 
What you have or haven’t done
 
It is not hate.  It is the opposite of hate
 
It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship
 
It’s more than a relationship it is love on a completely new level.  It is a love that says no matter who you are, where you are from, what you have done, or who you have done it with, you are perfect.  You are whole, you are new again, and you are mine.  I am so in love with everything you do.  You are perfectly imperfect and I love you. 

Imperfect People

The Countdown Begins

Only 34 days until I move to Florida! 

I'm excited and sad at the same time. 



I'm nowhere near ready. 
I still need to pack and disassemble everything.

 We still haven't closed on the house in Florida even though our closing date was May 20. 

They've extended it until May 27 because they're too incompetent to meet their own closing date. 

I'm a little stressed? 

Can you tell?

I'm going to miss all of the great friends I've made here. 

Not to mention all of my friends and family in New York and Vermont. 

Everyone is going to be so far away.

But I hear that Florida is the #1 family vacation spot in the world, so I'm looking forward to all of them visiting me. 

♫ I'll have a guest room. ♫







♥ Jurney Eve