Today is my firstborn's 15th birthday.
I cannot believe how fast the years have seemed to go by. She has become a beautiful, young lady...that has come to rely on her mommy less and less. The problem with that is...I WANT her to rely on me. I want her to run to me when she has a problem, or when she gets a boo-boo, or when something funny happens, or when something good happens, or when something bad happens, or...
I just want her to still think I am her whole world the way she did when she was 5. Ha ha ha!
Realistically, I know I don't want that for her. I am so proud that she has grown up to be the independent, intelligent, beautiful young lady that she is today. I wouldn't change a single hair on her head. I know it's my own insecurities that are making me feel this way. I am still learning how to let go of the tiny hand that was once her's and allow her to make her own mistakes. It's definitely harder than I ever thought it would have been and I am quite certain that it will take many more birthday's before I will find it any easier.
But we will always have our memories from when she was little and I WAS her whole world, and while she may not ask me "to sing her just one more song please", or sit in my lap and cry about how she never wants to grow up so she can stay my baby forever...we will create many more new memories together.
I love you baby and I am so proud of you.