So,I've Been Thinking...

As some of you may already know, I've been working on a second edition of my book, Intended Harm. I'm not planning on making any major changes or anything. I just want to redesign the inside and change the font. I also figured that while I'm at it I might as well add a few chapters about the civil confinement trial and stuff.

Then I thought...maybe I'll use my real name this time around.

When I first started this adventure in self recovery I was terrified of people finding out who I really was. I thought I could hide behind a fake name and remain anonymous forever. But the more I wrote, and the more I interacted with people, the more I felt like I was meant to share my story.

I know how crazy it must sound to most people...crazy psychopath who's about to be released from prison who has already tried to find me, and here I am making it easier by putting myself out there with a book all about how crazy he really is; and now I want to use my real name?!? I know it sounds crazy but that's not how I look at it.

I look at it like this...I have spent half of my life hiding from this man who is in a maximum security prison. For the longest time I wouldn't use the internet because I was afraid that I would do something that would leave a trace of me that would make it easier for him to find me. I wouldn't let my children join sports or other groups because I was afraid of what might happen to them while they were away from me. I never...and I mean NEVER...talked about what this man did to me because it was too painful. I kept everything bottled up inside, pretending it never happened.

But I have come to accept that I have no control over my life. Yes, I can continue to hide in my house and keep all of this to myself but what good does that do? Who does that help? Certainly not me. By sharing my story, I have finally found peace. I can finally talk about what happened to me. I finally feel healed. But it's not only that. By sharing my story, I have helped many women who have been hurt realize that it is possible to overcome their pain too.

I plan on pursuing my goal of becoming an inspirational speaker and for that I will need to use my real name.

Nothing makes me feel more foolish than when people call me Ms. Eve. Lol!

But I am also a woman of logic and logic tells me that using my real name would only make it easier for Mr. Smith to find me. It's not even me I'm worried about. I'm worried about my children...and my family. Of course, we will all have to take certain precautions when Mr. Smith is released from prison, regardless of whether or not I write under my real name or my psuedonym, so...?

I don't know. Any suggestions?

♥ Jurney Eve


  1. That is certainly a serious decision to have to make and I can see both sides of the coin. It is not one that I would give suggestions on lightly, but, rather, would recommend that you pray (as I'm sure you are) about. His way is the right way and the best way for you, whichever, way it is. ;)

  2. Suggestion: MANY writers use a 'fake name'. It's done for different reasons. I think it's kind of neat to have a pseudonym when you're a writer...kind of like you can step out of your 'real life' and be someone else...speak with freedom, share with ease....
    In your case, it doesn't hurt that using Jurney Eve could also be 'safer'.
    I love the HAS become a part of you. Some of us do know your real name...but, does it really matter that others don't?