Saturday

Kayleigh Preston May 6, 1993 - Jan 31, 2012


Kayleigh:

I told Robin not to bring him near me.
He did.
I told Robin not to leave me alone with him.
He did.
I tried to defend myself from his usual habits.
He didn’t do what he usually does.
Oh no. He did something MUCH worse.
And now
My life is actually over. I can’t keep going on like this okay
Once was enough to break me. That one time has given me a chance to overcome myself.
But twice? I know I think badly of myself, but nobody deserves to go through that even once, let alone twice.
And by two different people as well. He was right. I’m nothing but a cheap, worthless whore and I do deserve to die. So why not put everyone out of their misery?

 Anonymous:

Hellloooo. Just saw your last post and thought I'd pop in to say that, although I don't know you, I'm sure you're not cheap, worthless or a whore. Also, you don't deserve to die, and your death would likely create a lot of misery rather than relieve it. Come on, Kayleigh. :)


Kayleigh:
So this made me smile a little
Even though you are completely wrong
Still, thank you

Anonymous:
Hmmm, well, I'm not sure how to convince you that I'm right. How can I convince you that you are none of the bad things you said you are?

Kayleigh:
You can’t. Unless you can reverse being raped twice. So yeah, you can’t.

Anonymous:

I'm very sorry that that happened to you, but I don't understand how it makes you cheap, worthless or a whore. I also don't understand why you would think that it means that you deserve to die. Do you think the same of other rape victims?

Kayleigh:
Of course not! But those were his words and they describe how I feel right now better than anything else.

Anonymous:
I know that it is very easy to believe it when people say horrible things. But perhaps... you should also believe it when people say good things about you. Of course you feel bad right now, but that doesn't mean that you are bad. If the person who said those things to you is the same person that raped you, surely he isn't a credible source. In fact, I'd say that he is the one who is cheap, and worthless. Please consider what I've said? :)

Kayleigh:
I just feel so… Vulnerable right now. Like, is that what everyone sees me as? Just some girl who allows people to rape her? The first time, I can understand how it wasn’t my fault. But the fact it happened twice now makes me wonder if I am as bad as he said.

Anonymous:
Kay? Are you still there? Please be there.

Kayleigh:
I’m still here. Barely. Thank you for your concern though :)

Anonymous:
Thank God. You're right, you know. You don't deserve what happened to you. Not even the first time. You have handled things so well so far. You looked death in the face and gave it a big fat 'f*** you'. You have so many people on your side, who all want you happy. A Kayleigh standom, almost! Prove us right, and yourself wrong. Show that jerk that nobody messes with Kayleigh Preston and gets away with it!

Kayleigh:
Omfg a Kayleigh standom though
You seem to have more faith in me than I deserve. Thank you :3




Kayleigh Anne-Marie Preston committed suicide the next day.

May 6, 1993 - Jan 31, 2012



You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
---David Harkins
  












 ♥ Jurney Eve



Friday

Would I Be Different?

 
 
Would I be different if you listened?
Try to be born again and be a Christian?
Would I be different if you understood the word "No"?
Or did you take joy in making me feel low?
Would I be different if I actually had the chance to grow?
Or did you assume I was fine and just didn't know?
 
 
Did you hear me when I screamed?
Hushing me up and telling me it was all a dream?
Would I be different if I spoke up?
Then you would get mad if everyone woke up.
Would I be different if my words didn't choke up?
Looking in your eyes and I felt my heart get broken up.
 
 
Would I smile the same way?
Would I praise God every Sunday?
Would I be different in the aspect of valuing life,
Or would I continue to attempt suicide more then twice?
Would I be different if I was a boy,
Or was my innocence meant to be destroyed?
 
 
Poem by:
 Phelicia Amigo-Three Durand