Don't Let Your Insecurities Alter You

Today I had my first speaking engagement since moving to Florida. It was for the Florida Crime Prevention Training Institute where I would be addressing victim's advocates from all walks of life. I only had about five hours to prepare for it and I was so nervous. All of my usual insecurities came rushing to the surface.
What if I freeze up there? 
What if I forget my place?
What if they don't like what I have to say?
What if I stutter?
What if I start to cry?
What if I trip on my own feet on my way to the podium and knock it over? And then what if the podium knocks over the first row of seats and then the next row and then the next row, creating a domino effect that causes serious bodily injuries............ 

It could happen!

Needless to say, I was a little nervous.

Before I got out of my car to go into the conference, I said a little prayer, like I always do, asking God to calm my nerves and to give me wisdom. I have a little saying I like to say. It's "Not my will but Your's Lord." I say that because I like to remind myself why I started talking about my assault in the first place. I don't do to bring glory to myself. I do what I do because I feel that the Lord is calling me to do it. To help people.

And that was when a little epiphany popped into my head. Why am so nervous?!? I am about to speak to a room full of people who, just like me, do what they do because they want to help people. It wouldn't matter if I stuttered; or if I lost my place; or if I cried; although it might matter if I tripped and inadvertently caused serious bodily injury, but my point is...they wouldn't care about all of those tiny little things that I was feeling so insecure about. And then, the most amazing thing happened. God spoke to me. Well, kind of. In reality a song came on the radio but I have a feeling that it was meant just for me at just that particular moment in time. Lol!

It was Walk On The Water by Britt Nicole and I know it was just for me because the radio like never plays Britt Nicole. So that's the story I'm running with.

Anyways, The song is about our doubts and insecurities and how we can't let them stop us from stepping out and doing what we know we were meant to do...helping others and making a difference in this world. So I wanted to share it with you. Maybe it will inspire you like it inspires me.

"So step out
Even when a storm hits.
Step out
Even when you're broken.
Step out
Even when your heart is telling you, telling you to give up.
Step out
When your hope is stolen.
When you can't see where you're going.
You don't have to be afraid.

So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose? 
Your insecurities they try to alter you.
You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move.
Your faith is all it takes and you can walk on the water too."

-Britt Nicole

♥ Jurney Eve


True Colors

Today I feel like I have a huge hole in my heart.

Somebody I love with my absolute whole heart is in pain and I feel powerless to help her.

How can someone who is amazingly gifted, beautiful, smart, inspiring, loving...How can they not see themselves the way everyone else does?

Here I go, being all hypocritical, when in fact, it wasn't that long ago that I struggled with my own self-esteem. I think everybody struggles with that from time to time. When it was me, I remember just how awful I felt about myself. I also remember all of the things I did to try and boost my self-esteem. I guess that's why I am so sad right now. I don't want her to do what I did. I don't want her to inadvertently hurt herself on her quest for perfection.

Everything within me wants to wrap her in my arms and tell her how much I love her and just how important she is to me...and to so many other people. I want to tell her, fail or succeed it doesn't matter. She can make a million mistakes...it doesn't matter. She is perfectly imperfect...just like everyone else.

People beat themselves up on a daily basis trying to be perfect...trying to look perfect...trying to act perfect. But how boring would this world be if everyone was the same? We would have no music...no lyrics...no artists...no actors...no athletes...no books...(*gasp*)

Think about your favorite musician. Now think about what would have become of them if they allowed their uniqueness to be stifled in the hopes of being and looking and acting like everyone else. 

Embrace your uniqueness. Embrace your beautiful self. Because you ARE beautiful!

All of those things that make you different are the things that people treasure most about you.

"For You created my inmost being: 
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
Psalm 139:13-14

♥ Jurney Eve