So, my first day as a volunteer advocate at my local Victims Service Center went well. They told me they would like to use me at the SATC (Sexual Assault Treatment Center) where I could be there to support the victims that come in for treatment within 72 hours after they've been assaulted. It will be my job to comfort them and provide them with information about what to expect next.

What to expect if she/he decides to report the assault.

What to expect if she/he decides not to report the assault.

What types of emotions and coping mechanisms they can expect.

What will happen if their case goes to trial.

Where they can look for victim's compensation.

But most importantly, I will be there to comfort them.

I didn't have a victims advocate when I was assaulted. I don't know why. Maybe I was offered one but I refused. I don't remember much about what happened after I was rescued. It was like my brain shut down once it knew I was safe. The only thing I do remember with acute clarity was Tina, my quiet comforter. Tina was a girl that I went to school with and for some reason that I still do not know, she was there with me.  She stood silently next to me while chaos broke loose around me. We barely spoke to each other but just having her near me was comforting. She wasn't an adult. She wasn't a police officer. She wasn't a paramedic. She was just a girl from my high school but she's the only person I remember clearly out of all of my rescuers from that day.

Maybe I can be that for somebody.

I have come such a long way since that day. Heck, I've come a long way since 2007 when I finally worked up the courage to share my story online. Back then it was still too painful to talk about. That's why I chose to write about it. But it wasn't just writing about it that made me feel better. It was interacting with other survivors online that made me realize that I wasn't a freak for feeling the way I did.

Back then I wasn't able to talk about how I was kidnapped and raped so I never went to counseling. I never had the courage to call a hotline or anything.  If there was an online hotline or support group I might have been all over that. But there wasn't...until now. Now there is a completely anonymous, online hotline that victims and their families can go to for support as well as information about recovery, medical issues, the criminal justice process, and local resources that can help them too. It is provided by RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network).

RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization and it was named one of "America's 100 Best Charities" by Worth magazine. RAINN provides support through their hotlines, educates the public about sexual violence, and works with policy makers to improve the system for the victims. Many changes have come about since my assault in 1991 and RAINN played a huge part in that.

I personally am a proud supporter of RAINN as well as a member of their Speakers Bureau. If you are a victim of sexual violence or abuse, I strongly urge you to use one of RAINN's hotlines. You can call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or you can go online at

I wish I hadn't waited sixteen years before I started talking about my assault. I wish I hadn't allowed it to control so much of my life for so long. And I wish that my story will inspire others to come forward and end their silence as well.

There is power in your voice.

♥ Jurney Eve


I just got this nifty blogger app on my phone and I wanted to test it out.



I Don't Want To Gain The Whole World And Lose My Soul

I feel that God has been throwing a message at me over the past few months or so. Whether it's through the words of others; the books I've read; lyrics of the songs I've heard; emails or even through Facebook status updates. I feel that God has been trying to remind me that He is not done working in my life. I am not finished growing. My journey is not over. And while I already knew this, I have to admit that I have become a little too comfortable in my relationship with God. A few years ago, when I was writing my book, I was constantly seeking God's healing and guidance. I REALLY needed it because I was in such a bad emotional state.

But I had made such an incredible breakthrough after writing my book. To me, nothing short of a miracle had happened during that time in my life. All of the healing and growing that took place within me was nothing short of a miracle.

A miracle that I was even talking about how I was kidnapped and raped.

A miracle that I had learned how to feel whole again after sixteen years of feeling lost, worthless, broken, unlovable, unfixable, abnormal.

You get the idea.

For the last few years, I have felt so strong in my faith. I was ready to change the world one broken heart at a time. I was running the race I felt God had laid out before me. But I think that I got so caught up in trying to figure out how I could help other people that I stopped trying to figure out how to keep helping myself. And after a while, I started doubting myself. I started feeling discouraged, like I was never going to accomplish all of the things that I wanted to; all of the things that I felt God was calling me to accomplish.

But He has reminded me that I can't take care of others if I don't take care of myself. And so, I need to bring the focus back around to me. Oh, I'm not going to stop reaching out and encouraging others. I'm still going to volunteer at the Victims Service Center, volunteer as a member of RAINN's Speaker Bureau, write my second edition and still raise a little money for the occasional charity on the side, but I will remember to take time to spend with God.

We all lead busy, busy lives but we must remember to take a little time, even if it's only 5 minutes, for ourselves. Pick up your Bible and let it fall open to a random passage; or start at the beginning...I recommend the New Testament...and read a few verses every day. I've started in Ephesians. If we don't take the time to connect with Him and focus on ourselves then we will never be truly happy or be as successful as He meant for us to be.

Faith is not a constant without maintenance and always remember..."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

♥ Jurney Eve


Remembering September 11th

Like many of you, I have been glued to the television all morning watching the September 11th ceremonies that are taking place throughout the country.

This is such an extremely sad day for so many of us and I wish I had something clever or uplifting to say but I don't because after ten years...I am still speechless!

So in honor of all of those people who lost their lives, their children, their parents, their spouses, their co-workers, and their friends. May God be with you.

♥ Jurney Eve


I Survived

About 4 months ago, I thought it would be a groovy idea to submit my story to the show "I Survived" on the Biography channel. To be honest, I really didn't expect to ever hear back from them. I figured, they must get 1000's of submissions if not more every week. What are the odds that they would actually take the time to read every single one of them? I mean, I must have written to Oprah about a dozen times over the past two years and no one from her show ever called me. Lol! So I was a little shocked when I got a call from them a month later.

Come to find out, they were interested in little ol' me. This man from the show called me to see if I was still interested in being on the show.  I got the impression that his job was to "feel me out" so to speak. To find out how well I could talk about what happened to me. If I wasn't comfortable talking to him then I probably wouldn't be a good candidate for the show. He explained the ins and outs of how it all worked and answered any questions I had. Then he told me that if the producers thought I would be a good fit then I would get another call later on.

After that phone call I started wondering if going on this show was a good idea after all. For those of you who aren't familiar with the show, it is a documentary of sorts. Each episode takes about 3 different people who have been through some kind of tragedy and it allows them to tell their story in their own words. The focus is on the actual tragedy and how the person managed to survive and it includes as many details as possible.

Telling my story isn't what bothers me. I've told it before. What worries me is that the show isn't interested in what happened to me struggles, my recovery, my faith. They are only interested in the actual crime and how I escaped and that's not why I tell my story. I decided to tell my story in the hope of helping others who have been sexually assaulted or abused. I want them to know that I too went through something horrible. I want to let them know how much I struggled with what happened to me just like they may still be struggling. I want to share my faith with people. I don't so much want to tell them what happened to me but how I recovered from it.

Now to tell you my other concerns for doing the show...How about the fact that the man who kidnapped me isn't rehabilitated and has tried to find me in the past. What if he watches the show and sees my story...his story? That could open a whole new can of worms for him. Or what about the fact that every April there's a chance he will be released from prison. Am I letting him control me still? I don't think so. If I felt that going on this show would further my recovery and help other people, I would take those risks. But I don't feel like it would do either one of those things.

Well, yesterday I received another call from the show asking me if they could come down and interview me. I told them  about my concerns and I asked them if I could think about it. So the director is supposed to call me today. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a good show that is very tastefully done. It portrays the survivor's in a good light. But it is what it is...a show about a tragedy and how the person survived and that's as far as it takes the viewer. I don't want my story to become a form of entertainment on a Sunday evening...cuz that's when the shows on, by the way.

And because of this, I've decided I'm NOT going to do the show. I hope you all understand and aren't too disappointed in my decision.

♥ Jurney